Some days are just beyond weird. Yesterday was Valentine’s Day and that can often be kind of a day of misery. For me it wasn’t! Not this year. And honestly? Even on years when I was alone I was still ok. I don’t hate the day or what it stands for or represents. I felt pretty good and pretty high all day. ALL day. I felt happy, beautiful, smart, and like everything is exactly how it’s supposed to be right now. Cloud 9, content, proud, and productive!
I did find all of this odd, however. I typically am never blissfully happy for an entire day. I did take notice so I wouldn’t come crashing down. As a positive extreme can be as emotionally draining and detrimental as an extreme low.. I threw some restraint, caution, and took some deep breaths.
Today it a bit of a different story. I’m “ok” but no where near the level of yesterday’s confidence. Today I am slow. Distracted. Mopey. Sluggish. And not feeling beautiful. I want to take a thousand hot showers, and snuggly naps. And snacks.
But things line up this way sometimes. I’m working on creating more balance and less extreme feelings to help even me out
I’ve been able to achieve a fraction of the things I had planned to work on these last two days and it’s difficult not to be consumed by that. But again, things I’m noticing and working on. .
It’s a battle I will be fighting for the rest of my life, but being able to finally face and work through things has made me feel like I actually will survive this and sadly that’s not a feeling ive always had.
Writing this has helped and made me feel a bit better
I think it’s time for my second coffee run of the day.
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